Most of us have done it, at least once or twice in our dating lives. We fell for the guy who had so much potential. He drew us in with his charm, won us over with his sweet talk and blinded us with his lofty daydreams. How many times did we defend him to our family and friends with statements like, “I know we have our issues but he has so much potential! He’s really talented and if he would only apply himself a little more…stop doing “X” and start doing “Z”, he’d make it!”?
Then we go on to spend years and years investing in “potential” but getting very little in return.
That’s why I’ve stopped dating potential.
No, I’m not saying that I’m swearing off men and joining a convent. But I’m saying that I’ve decided that dating a man for who he has the potential to be hasn’t been working out for me, and if you’re reading this, it probably hasn’t been working out for you either.
The better way to go would be for us to stop dating the man with potential and start dating the man with CHARACTER.
You see, all of us have the potential to be great and succeed in life. But the numbers quickly decline when we begin to count the number of people who have the character it takes to get there and STAY there.
While it’s noble of you to be head over heels in love with your future entrepreneur, it’s foolish to think a man who doesn’t have the discipline to draft a business plan, see that plan all the way through, network and go after his goals and dreams will be anything more to you than a daydreamer.
But what happens when you date a man of character and integrity?
Not only does he have potential, but his potential becomes something you can see and feel in a short amount of time- not years or decades. He puts legs to his ideas and his goals. He doesn’t just talk about it- HE IS about it! He’s not sitting around trying to sell you on what he wants to accomplish in life. He’s taking you along for the ride straight to the top. He may not have much now, but at the rate he’s going, you can see clearly, it won’t be long before he accomplishes everything in his heart to do. Why? It’s because he’s focused, determined and disciplined enough to stand by his word and see a plan through from start to finish.
Does that sound like the “potential” you’ve dated in the past?
I didn’t think so.
And that’s precisely why I’ll never date mere “potential” again.
Potential is something we all have.
But CHARACTER takes the raw material of potential and turns it into something meaningful and useful.
King Solomon, in his wisdom, put it this way:
“Do you see a man skilled in his work? He will serve before kings; he will not serve before obscure men.” Proverbs 22:29
Not only must he have a plan, he must also have corresponding actions for those plans and enough self discipline to see it through. You can’t even get the “potential” you’re dating to get off the couch and put on a clean shirt! Plans without actions are fables. Sure, women can inspire men and take them to new heights in their earthly pursuits. But no woman is capable of being the visionary and executor of any man’s plan for his own life. That takes the exercise of his own character, discipline, resolve- the tried stones that lay the foundation of a real man.
Good looks and smooth talk may get him on the court, but good character will keep him in the game. And when it’s all said and done, we want someone who’s built to last, not ready to run.