The world is a very critical place to live in and depending on where you got your start, the criticism began quite early.
Your posture was criticized as a child. The way you styled your hair and dressed was criticized in school.
And now that you’re a mom, the criticism meets you here as well.
“You let your kids watch that?”
“You let your daughter dress like that?”
“You should have known better than to sleep with a man that’s no good. Being a single mama is your own fault”.
As if most intelligent women (emotions and love aside) wake up in the morning, hell bent on finding someone who will do the best job at breaking her heart.
Yea, that’s the mission.
And let’s not forget the segment of single moms who have to deal with less-than-amicable co-parenting relationships. Often the criticism comes from the father of your children and/or his side of the family. Nothing you do or say is good enough. You find yourself playing “good cop, bad cop” with your children and often are under intense scrutiny from family members who view you as the enemy.
You can let your hair down here and be real.
I know it’s tough and I know it hurts.
There are moments you want to scream at the world and to yourself, “CAN I DO ANYTHING RIGHT?!”
Here’s a word of encouragement from the Word of God…
The whole time Nehemiah was in the palace attending to his post as cup bearer, his only critic was the King. And since the King had no issue with his service, his existence was a comfortable one. It wasn’t until he stepped outside of his comfortable box and began to consider the need of his ruined homeland of Jerusalem that he found himself faced with critics and saboteurs.
My point is that although you may find it difficult to be criticized as a single mom, I want to congratulate you. If you weren’t doing something worthwhile, no one would have anything to say.
It’s easy to criticize from the sidelines but few want to suit up and get in the game.
So when I watched my son receive his certificate of completion from kindergarten back in May, I knew the deal. All the criticism I endured during the past school year meant nothing in that moment. All those nights we worked on homework together, correcting spelling, and perfecting his math paid off. All those mornings of praying with him on his way to school had rewarded me.
God had seen my efforts and rewarded me with the success of my child.
No one said, “Melissa, you’re doing a fine job with my grandson, nephew or son”.
They didn’t have to anymore.
Just like Nehemiah, I made up in my mind and said, “I’m doing a good work here and I can’t come down”. I can’t come down to the level of critics anymore who’d rather exercise their tongue muscles than arm muscles to help. I can’t let a critic break my stride and steal my focus. I will not allow a critic with no track record to try to challenge mine.
And neither should you mama.
Neither should you.