How To Help A Friend That’s In A Bad Relationship…



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Most of us remember the time we were in that relationship that was bad for us but nobody, and I do mean, NOBODY could convince us otherwise.
We also remember going to our friends in tears, hurting and desperate for hope.
Some of us know what it feels like to be that friend that’s on the other end of a tearful phone call or sitting across the sofa from a girlfriend who’s an emotional mess.
As the supportive friend, you want to be there for your friend who is obviously hurting. But the hidden truth that not to many people admit to is that being there for a hurting friend often ends up hurting you.

How so you ask?

For starts, it hurts to be the one to pick up a friend from the ground, listen to them for hours, comfort and pray, and give them sound advice, all for them to go back to the painful situation that hurt them to begin with.
So what can you do, as a true friend to support your hurting friend but protect your own heart?

Here are a few things to keep in mind when being there for a friend who isn’t ready to let go of a tumultuous relationship:

1. Listening is enough. Don’t feel compelled to do more than this. If your friend has a pattern of running to you and others when things get especially rough in their relationship, then this time is just one of many. Show compassion with a willingness to be a listening ear first. Let your friend know that you are someone they can trust.
2. Remember change begins with choices, not chatter. The truth is that if your friend really wanted to change their situation, they would not be on the phone with you or crying on your sofa. Changing their situation begins with a decision that only they can make. And trust me, when they’re at the point of making that major decision, it won’t be done in a crowd of friends or with an audience of sympathizers. When she’s ready to let go of the drama, she won’t be venting, she’ll be moving.
3. Resist the temptation to offer advice. Most of us who have been the supportive friend know that this is the one question that can make or break a friendship so avoid it. If she asks you whether or not she should leave, don’t fall for it. When a woman talks about her relationship, you must understand that she can personally dog the relationship but when anyone from the outside does so (including her closest friends), she immediately seeks to defend it. Women draw a large part of their identity and self worth from the relationships they invest in so to attack her relationship is to attack her. Instead of falling into this pit, go back to step one. Remind her that you are there to listen. This is your loving way of saying to her, “You must take responsibility for what you’re going through and I refuse to have it dumped on me”. If you tell her to leave her man, this will most likely happen: “When she leaves, she’ll feel it was because of what you said, and not because of what she wanted. And when she reconciles with her man (which she most likely will do several times), she’ll resent you. The decision to leave a relationship must always be her decision, not yours. Refuse to get drawn into that trap.

We love our friends, sometimes like our own blood relatives. It’s easy to see how we can take on their pain and often, their drama. But hopefully, if we apply the wisdom of God to situations like this, we can guard our hearts and keep them offense free. No one wants to lose a dear friend over a relationship but sometimes it does happen. However, by keeping these key things in mind, it is possible to avoid the heartache that comes with dealing with a friend who’s in a rocky relationship.

Again, the choice to leave is hers, not yours and the both of you must keep this in mind at all times.  And lastly, venting is fine, but we also teach people how to treat us. Venting can be a very emotionally draining experience for a genuine friend. One way to lovingly put limits and boundaries around your friend’s venting sessions is to literally give it a time limit. Most of us are willing to pull all nighter’s for girlfriends who are emotionally broken. Yes, you should be there for her. But after a period of time, release her. Yep, I said it. After she has talked for a period of time, let her go. Tell her that you’re going to give her space and time to meditate and pray about what she’s going through. She may not want to get off the phone or leave, and at first, you may not want her to. But you don’t want you friend to depend on you. You want her to draw her strength from the Lord. What happens when you’re unavailable or facing challenges of your own? Will she fall apart?  Love you friend enough to set boundaries and encourage them to find more productive ways to deal with their emotional turmoil besides dumping it all on you continuously.
Trust me, after you’ve had enough time alone with your thoughts, eventually, you’ll come to yourself and realize that hurting is a pattern you don’t want to continue following.

Question: What experience have you had with girlfriends who are in rocky relationships? How did you handle it?

I’m In Love Y’all!! Woo Hoo!!!

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Hello everyone. I just wanted to give a quick greeting. I know I haven’t been writing on my blog as much as I used to and I could blame it on a lot of things, but the truth of the matter is that I’m in love.
You know how it is when you’re in love; you just don’t seem to have time for all of the other things that you used to do. All you can think about is getting back to your lover, staring in his eyes, listening to his voice and hearing his sweet words flow over you like warmth and comfort.
Yea, I know you remember what it’s like to be in love.
Well, I’m in love for sure. I’m looking at my schedule and it’s rearranged. I’m looking at my interests and they’ve changed. I’m sure if you asked my friends, they’d tell you “something is different about her”.
And they’d be right.
Something is different and something has changed.
I’m in LOVE people! LOL! Love changes you.
And love ignites you with a passion for life and living that cannot be explained, only experienced.
So yea, don’t hate.
I’m in love.
And I’m so happy because for the longest time, I didn’t feel loved. For years, I felt rejected, like no one wanted me and I wasn’t good enough for any one’s time or any one’s sacrifice. I just wanted to matter to somebody- anybody.
But today, I can truly say my heart has found what it’s been searching for.

No, let me tell the truth.
He found me.

He’s an incredible lover and friend.
He was even there through all my heartbreaks and breakup’s.
Can you imagine that?
Who DOES that?!
He did.
So yea bear with me. You know how it is when you’re in love.
He’s the first thing you talk about and the last thing on your mind every night.
You get on every one’s nerves by how much you talk about your relationship and he always seems to make his way into EVERY conversation.
That’s what being in love does to you.

And I’m not ashamed to admit it and I don’t feel bad.
I waited a long time for this so now is not the time to feel shy, shame, or intimidated.
I’m sorry you’re hurting and if you are, I have one thing to tell you…
My lover can be yours too.
He’ll love you like He loves me and give you what you need to stop chasing after pretend lovers.
He’s the real thing.
No, He’s not trying to becoming your everything.

 He’s trying to show you that He already is.

And everything you could possibly ever want or need, it’s in Him.

About three years ago while I was sitting in the parking lot of the county jail, early one morning, about to visit my lover who was serving a 6 month sentence, I decided to read the love letters of the Lover of my soul.
My heart was torn and my emotions were a mess. I didn’t know what else to do but to turn to Him.
And from that moment on, we began talking to each other again…little by little til eventually, we established a new and better relationship.

That old lover who was in jail got out and went back to his old ways. He eventually walked out the door. But the Lover of my soul moved right into my heart and refused to let it be empty another day.
Took some time for the pain to subside and some days, it still hurts…just a little.
But the Lover of my soul hasn’t run off. He’s still with me, helping me through. Showing me how to move beyond my past failures and see myself as He sees me: Beautiful, royal, and His.

I know you want to be in love just like I did.
And I know you know how to love, just like I did.

But the question is, who will you love and who really loves you?

Selah.

A Poem: "For Him…"

You loved me with everything you had.
And even though that may not have been much to some and not enough for me,
It was all you had to give. You gave it, and I received it.
I will always be your girl in that world to which we belonged.
And my soul will long for you there.
For as long as you had me, I was completely yours.
For as often as you need me, I will be here for you.
I don’t apologize for loving you still.
I can’t apologize for love.
I apologize for mistakes I make.
And loving you was never ever a mistake.
Maybe I made wrong assumptions and there were times my timing was ill timed.
But the decision to love you was never wrong.
And I will not put love on trial because my heart was wounded in the heat of passion.
Love still is and always will be the sweet song that plays softly against the noisy refrains of life.
And love is the reason I even know you from Adam in this world.
And it’s the reason you knew me.
Maybe you don’t know me as well as you could have and as much as you should have
But trust me, you know enough.
You have known my love and frankly, isn’t that enough?
That’s enough to know and all there is to know.
I’ll spare you the details and the biography; the never ending sob story.
All you need to know is love.
You felt it. You saw it. You had it.
While I can admit I was an imperfect messenger
That takes nothing away from the message.
What I delivered to you in shaky hands and in unclear speech was love.
And that love is still as beautiful today
As the day you said “I do” to the one you wanted then but no longer want now.
And I forgive you because it’s about love, not me.
Love hired me and I can only represent love’s purity, not my own insecurities.
I work for Love, not for drama.
I live for love, not for pain.
What do I have to gain from love?
Eternal life.
Forever to live, breathe and enjoy love.
Forever to thank the Lover of my Soul for the pleasure of loving others as He loved me- Unconditionally.
Love is a seed that grows over time and I know it’s planted within you.
I may not be there at harvest time
But when you reap, you’ll think of me.

*This piece was written as an artistic expression of the continuity of all the relationships I’ve had with men, from the beginning of my life til now. I hope you enjoy it.* -Mel

The Healing Process…

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Back in February, I had a freak accident involving broken glass from a picture frame. The gash was deep and probably required stitches, but I was about to go out of town and didn’t want to be bothered with a doctor’s office. So I cleaned the wound, put on some antibiotic ointment, covered it all under a big bandage, and kept it moving.

That was almost 9 months ago.

Today, the wound is completely closed, but there’s an ugly scar left behind. The scar didn’t surprise me. I figured it served me right for not getting it stitched up like I should have. But what surprised me the most was that even after all this time, and all these months, the place where I was cut is still tender.

And so is life.

I do my very best to be as transparent as possible in my writings. For the most part I try to strike an encouraging tone but the fact of the matter is that I have scars of my own that are still tender to the touch.

Just recently, I worked up the nerve to throw away some old love letters that I’d been holding on to from an ex. First of all, let me just say that I love words. I treasure them. So when someone takes the time to write me something, especially by hand, which he did, I hang on to those letters for dear life. But over time, and slowly but surely, I’ve come to realize that what I felt to receive the letters and what he felt while writing them wasn’t the same. There was a point in time when I would sit on the edge of my bed and read each letter, one by one. My eyes would fill with tears as I searched each line for answers to questions that he left me with.

Just recently, I became ok with not knowing “why” to everything. And the truth is, I did know why. It just took me this long to believe and accept it as truth.

Unfortunately people do things for less than pure motives all the time. The don’t set out to do harm- most don’t. But harm, they do. Hearts find themselves breaking and wondering how they’ll ever mend.

One of the most unspoken things among mothers is the enormous amount of personal pain we carry in addition to our daily duties and responsibilities. Often we cry in silence and suffer there too. Our emotional problems and issues must be tabled for the sake of caring for and nurturing our children. Somehow we must find a way to surpress our inner struggles and emotional disturbances to meet the needs and demands of those we love and those we’re obligated to.
And some moms crack under the pressure.

From the time my son was born in 2006 until 2010, my life felt like it was spinning out of control. There was no time to process all of my emotions and deal with those things that had wounded my heart so deeply. But then in 2010, I began to crack under the pressure. Before I knew it, everything that I’d built and believed in for four years was lying in a pile of rubble. I was forced to deal with emotions I’d stuffed down for a very long time.

I want you to know, before I close, that healing is a process. If you’re reading this and you are a mother or a wife, then I understand that you feel at times overwhelmed and sometimes like there’s no opportunity to heal. If you’re reading this and you’re at the beginning of the grieving process of your broken heart, you may feel as if you will never reach a place where the heaviness and pain subsides enough for you to begin living your life again.  But just like that deep wound on my arm, the healing process may take time, but it is taking place. It took a couple of months before the wound closed and another couple of months before the pain went away. And now, while the wound is closed completely and I can put clothes on and off with no pain, there are moments that if too much pressure is applied to the area, it is still tender.

There will be days when you feel as if you’re ok and then something will happen or something will be said that reminds you that there’s a place in your heart that’s still tender.
 Please don’t ignore this. Your best option in moments like these is prayer. I’m not talking about bless my cat and dog prayers. I’m speaking of laying your heart out before the Lord and asking Him for the help you need. And sometimes,  the only prayer a broken heart can manage is “Lord, help me!”

It may be slow, it may take time and it may be painful, but trust and believe, the healing process has begun in your life.

Don’t give up on the difficult days. Don’t doubt your progress when something is said or done that takes you back to a painful place and brings tears to your eyes.

I held on to those love letters for YEARS, and my eyes filled with tears at the thought of ever letting them go.
And then one day I just woke up and realized it was time to let it go.
And I realized that although it was a tender place, it wasn’t the same hurting, open wound that it used to be.

Healing is indeed a process and God is faithful to heal you if you’ll only trust and believe that He will…in due time.

The Problem With Dating "Potential"…

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Most of us have done it, at least once or twice in our dating lives. We fell for the guy who had so much potential. He drew us in with his charm, won us over with his sweet talk and blinded us with his lofty daydreams. How many times did we defend him to our family and friends with statements like, “I know we have our issues but he has so much potential! He’s really talented and if he would only apply himself a little more…stop doing “X” and start doing “Z”, he’d make it!”?

Then we go on to spend years and years investing in “potential” but getting very little in return.

That’s why I’ve stopped dating potential.

No, I’m not saying that I’m swearing off men and joining a convent. But I’m saying that I’ve decided that dating a man for who he has the potential to be hasn’t been working out for me, and if you’re reading this, it probably hasn’t been working out for you either.

The better way to go would be for us to stop dating the man with potential and start dating the man with CHARACTER.

You see, all of us have the potential to be great and succeed in life. But the numbers quickly decline when we begin to count the number of people who have the character it takes to get there and STAY there.
While it’s noble of you to be head over heels in love with your future entrepreneur, it’s foolish to think a man who doesn’t have the discipline to draft a business plan, see that plan all the way through, network and go after his goals and dreams will be anything more to you than a daydreamer.

But what happens when you date a man of character and integrity?

Not only does he have potential, but his potential becomes something you can see and feel in a  short amount of time- not years or decades. He puts legs to his ideas and his goals. He doesn’t just talk about it- HE IS about it! He’s not sitting around trying to sell you on what he wants to accomplish in life. He’s taking you along for the ride straight to the top. He may not have much now, but at the rate he’s going, you can see clearly, it won’t be long before he accomplishes everything in his heart to do. Why? It’s because he’s focused, determined and disciplined enough to stand by his word and see a plan through from start to finish.

Does that sound like the “potential” you’ve dated in the past?

I didn’t think so.

And that’s precisely why I’ll never date mere “potential” again.

Potential is something we all have.
But CHARACTER takes the raw material of potential and turns it into something meaningful and useful.

King Solomon, in his wisdom, put it this way:

“Do you see a man skilled in his work? He will serve before kings; he will not serve before obscure men.”  Proverbs 22:29

Not only must he have a plan, he must also have corresponding actions for those plans and enough self discipline to see it through. You can’t even get the “potential” you’re dating to get off the couch and put on a clean shirt!  Plans without actions are fables. Sure, women can inspire men and take them to new heights in their earthly pursuits. But no woman is capable of being the visionary and executor of any man’s plan for his own life. That takes the exercise of his own character, discipline, resolve- the tried stones that lay the foundation of a real man.

Good looks and smooth talk may get him on the court, but good character will keep him in the game. And when it’s all said and done, we want someone who’s built to last, not ready to run.

I Was Bullied.

Does this look like the face of a woman who was bullied as a child?
I’m sure many of my friends who don’t know all of the details of my childhood would find it hard to believe that a woman who stands  5’11’, and weighs 255 lbs (I aint shame, I’m CUTE! lol!) was once bullied.
Yep.
I was.
My sister and I were bullied in elementary school. Who knows why. Maybe it was because I was shorter than them. Maybe because my skin was darker. Or maybe it was because of the dark circles under my eyes from asthma.
Whatever the reason on whatever day, I was chased home, screaming and in fear of my life and my sister’s life everyday by two bullies.
My parents did all they could to protect us and eventually, made the decision and sacrifice to no longer allow us to ride the bus to school, where between the bus stop and school bus, the majority of the bullying took place.
As we got older, my sister became more popular and I was protected… a little. That is, until she graduated and left me to face my bullies alone.
And then my bullies became a different sort. They weren’t threatening me with physical violence. How could they? I was over 5’8″ by the end of middle school. Now they were the cliques and clubs who made you feel “less than” because you didn’t wear certain clothes or were from a certain neighborhood. Eventually, I took refuge in the school library where I spent the majority of my lunch breaks.
I didn’t eat lunch.
It wasn’t because I wasn’t hungry.
It was because I’d rather starve than be made fun of again… and again… and again.
So I did.
Starve.
It wasn’t until my junior year, when I was finally able to go off campus for my art studies that I began to eat lunch again. I felt safe and accepted in my new environment with the fine arts crowd.

And that’s how I survived middle school and high school.

I’m thankful that my story isn’t as traumatic as many young people that I’ve heard in recent months, but the fact is, many of us, and probably even YOU, know what it feels like to be picked on. Or maybe you found yourself defending and befriending someone who was picked on or bullied.
There were a few heroes in my school days who would come and sit with me in the library after they’d eaten their lunch in the cafeteria.

Thank you.

As a mommy to two of the most amazing children in the world, I feel duty bound to do something to try to make the world they’re living in a better place. If that means admitting that I too was once bullied, then so be it.
If it means removing the shame and secrecy off of something that has plagued so many of us for years, then so be it.
As you can see, I’m not the frightened little girl with dark circles under her eyes (I use a GREAT concealer now.. LOL!) who doesn’t have a voice and feels terrified and petrified.

Oh yea, before I go…
One day, a couple of years after being chased by the two bully brothers (they were actually blood brothers, I’m serious) I was riding my bike in the neighborhood and ran into the both of them. I was way taller than them and way bigger than them… WAY bigger. At that moment, staring the source of my torment in the face, I felt an overwhelming sense of empowerment. I wasn’t afraid of him, I was insulted! I was scared of YOU?! Needless to say, they didn’t try to fight me or steal my bike from me.
I was in charge now.

And that’s the truth that bullies don’t want you to know. They try to tear you down because they see you on your way UP. And it rattles their own insecurities to see you shining your light, every single day.

Don’t give up. I know it’s tough being bullied every single day. I found places to hide. I found friends who let me be myself. I found a release in visual arts. Maybe yours is music. Whatever it is, don’t let them dim your light. Please…
Don’t let them.

In a little while, no one will be able to stop your shine.

Don’t Date- INVESTIGATE!

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While most single ladies my age would welcome a relationship if a good one presented itself, it’s also a reality that many of us are just about tired of trying. We’ve spent more than a decade in the dating world and after meeting some not-so-stellar candidates for our heart, we’ve all but given up our quest to find love.But just before you throw in the towel, consider with me, if you will, a new approach.
The bible tells us to be “wise as a serpent but harmless as a dove”. While we practice what the bible preaches in other areas of our lives like how to get the best deal at the supermarket or from a mechanic, most of us drop this principle by the wayside when it comes to dating.

Here are some important keys to keep in mind that will help you make the most out of your dating experience and walk away from any situation, good or bad, with your dignity and heart still in tact:

  1. Realize that the playing field is level, at least initially. So many women approach a dating situation like a potential employee being interviewed by her boss. He may listen to Rick Ross and feel like he’s the biggest boss, but that doesn’t make him the boss of you! Don’t forget that while you’re being sized up to also size him up! You don’t have a lot of time on this level playing field so it’s important that you take in as many observations as possible in the first few moments of meeting him. After all, you’re trying determine if the man before you is indeed a worthy investment of your time or if the two of you are just doing a great job of covering up the incompatibility between you.
  2. Believe what you see! So many of us have met a gentleman online who impressed us with lengthy conversations and impressive text messages, but upon meeting him, we were disappointed by the way he carried himself. Let’s be real here ladies. Even when you’re chillin, you’re on point! So why is his faded graphic tee shirts and love for sneakers in every photograph acceptable to you? Nine times out of ten, this gentleman will not be willing to dress up and take you anywhere and if he does dress up, he’ll make it clear that he is not a happy camper. Do you really want to deal with that six months from now? Better to observe in 6 minutes and keep the line movin’ than after 6 months when you’re trying to make it work and save face.
  3. Believe what you hear! Did he REALLY just ask your cup size? Did he REALLY just ask you when was the last time you had sex? Unless you’re working as a bra model or he’s a gynecologist,  these questions, asked by him in the name of “honesty”, are inappropriate at best and a huge RED FLAG at worse. While it may be tempting to write those little slips of common decency off, you must stay present. You’re investigating. This is the man on his BEST behavior. He’s already discussing your underwear and your sexual behavior before he knows anything about you as a person. Sounds like a guy who’s really interested in getting to know you outside of the bedsheets, right? Moving right on along.
  4. Believe what you feel. This guy is heaven sent! He’s dressed to impress, he’s respectful. He looks good on paper and he even bought over a new toy for your cat Whiskers (aww!). But something just doesn’t feel right about him. You can’t put your finger on it and you have no evidence to support your uneasiness, but it just won’t go away. This is called “discernment”; and this is the Holy Spirit telling you, “I know something you don’t know and have no way of knowing. You can either trust Me, because I don’t lie, or you can trust him, a complete stranger”.  Because you’re investigating and not dating, nor have you invested more of your time and energy than you should without said investigation, you can quickly lose his number and trust that you won’t be trying to dial 911 from the inside of his trunk, thanks to the Holy Ghost.

A lot of women feel victimized by the whole dating process and have nothing but horror stories to tell. But it’s time that women of God arose in power and most importantly, WISDOM.

Dating is not a marriage so why are you doing the most in it?!  It is a time that should be well spent in respectfully gathering the needed information about someone to make an informed decision. Just because someone may not qualify to be your spouse doesn’t mean you haven’t met a good friend or someone with whom you can network.

 Just because it’s been months (or years) since you had a date doesn’t mean you should tolerate any and all behavior.  You have a lot to offer to a man who can see your true value and worth.
But it’s up to YOU to make sure you’re not giving someone the keys to your heart that you didn’t even take the time to get to know. Don’t leave your good mind in your purse! Take it out, use it and observe. And once you’ve investigated, make no apologies whatsoever for the conclusions you draw.
Trust me…

He won’t.

What are your thoughts on trading in dating for investigating?

The Weeping Warrior…

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If life is a battlefield, then we’re all soldiers. Each day that we climb out of our beds and head into the warzone, we come under enemy fire.

For some of us, we come under fire on our jobs. For others, we’re under fire in our marriages and relationships.

Still others are under fire from the stress, strain and pressure of responsibilities. Everyone looks to us to be the strong, level headed one while all the rest are falling apart. When everything is confusing, we’re the one who’s supposed to make sense of it all.

We face each day and we fight. We take our hits. We see casualties all around.
We fall into the foxholes of our beds every night and await the crack of dawn which tells us it’s almost time to get up and fight again.

Behind our swords, our shields and our helmets, many people cannot see that our eyes are filled with tears. We struggle to see the road we’re driving on, our vision blurred during our morning commute, alone in the car with our fears and our tears.

The tears roll down the sides of our faces and pool onto our pillows at night as fellow soldiers lay sleeping next to us, unaware of our pain and heartache.

We fight everyday… just to hold on…just to believe…
Just to have faith.

But faith is a “good fight”. It’s the one fight worth engaging in. That doesn’t make it easy though. There are days the tears fall before our hands can catch them. There are moments the ache of sorrow builds up in our throats, threatening to come out in the deepest cry.

But we fight on.
We fight for our lives.
We fight for our children.
We fight the good fight of faith.
We fight because we refuse to allow everything we’ve been through, everything we’ve suffered, and everything we’ve ever lost to be in vain.

We fight, believing that the victory is just on the other side of the hill. We can take the mountain and plant our flag on its peak…that is, if we don’t give up.
Somewhere between those dull aches of pain, those cruel reminders of past battles we lost, we realize that we can and we will win the war. Tired as we may be, we believe that someway, somehow…

It isn’t all in vain.

We believe that the race isn’t one of speed, but of endurance.
So we get out of bed.
We do the dishes.
We fight rush hour traffic.
We confront the issues of our relationships and marriages, day after day. We are armed with the shield of faith and the Sword of the Spirit.

The mightiest may have a broken heart.
Warriors cry sometimes.
There are days that even soldiers shed tears.

But we fight on my friend.

We fight on.

Where Morning Begins…

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I was seven years old when I had the experience that laid the foundation for what I’m about to write today.

 My father was a part of the church choir and one day our choir was invited to sing at a church located in Detroit, MI. This meant a long road trip for my family and the other choir members. We began our journey from Greenville, SC to Detroit, MI in the evening and I can remember falling asleep and waking up a couple of hours later. What happened next is what changed my life.

My mom noticed that I was awake and she said to me, “Good morning”.
I was completely puzzled. I asked, “Mama, why did you say good morning? It’s still night time”. She said, “It’s still dark outside but at 12:01, it becomes morning”.
It was almost more than my little mind could conceive and it’s a moment in time that I’ll never forget.

It’s dark outside…
But it’s a new day.
It looks like night time, but really, it’s morning.

That’s the encouragement I want to bring to you today. You may be in a season of your life that appears dark. Everything around you is telling you that you’re still in your night season. But the truth is that a new day begins in darkness!

If you can hold out just a little while longer, you’ll see the sunrise.

So even now, while you’re facing darkness, go ahead and do like my mama did, 27 years ago. Proclaim, “Good morning!” over you life and watch the light begin to appear.

Not everyone who enters your life is authorized to be there!

The Diary Of A Baby Mama

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Fugitive
A person who has escaped from a place or is in hiding, esp. to avoid arrest or persecution.

Imagine with me, if you will, that you’re in your home and suddenly you hear a firm knock at the door. When you open the door, standing before you is a handsome man who appears very polite but in a slight hurry. He asks you if he can come in.

What would you do?

Would you let him in or would you tell him, “I’m sorry. I don’t know you” and close the door? Some would say, “I wouldn’t even answer the door!”

Both of these are good answers but the truth is that we do answer the door and we do “let him in” on a regular basis. Who is he?

He’s the relationship fugitive on the run from his past relationship failures that we often call boyfriend, fiancee, and…

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