So many women are quick to say that they desire to be in a relationship with a good man. I’ve even said so myself. However, I had to sit down and do some soul searching. I had to ask myself if I really wanted a good man.

But why would I ask myself such a question? The answer should be obvious because a good man is responsible, dependable, trustworthy;  he’s a godly man of character and integrity. Those are some of the major characteristics that can be found in a good man. Who wouldn’t want that, right?

However, when I began to look at my own past decisions and actions, I came to the conclusion that what I was saying and what I was doing weren’t lining up. I SAID I wanted a godly man, but the man I was with wasn’t saved.

I SAID I wanted a man who was trustworthy and dependable, but I was with a man who was as sneaky as they came and who loved to stay out all night long with one lame excuse after the next.

So, just like I had to keep it real with myself, I’m going to keep it real with you now.

Before you can have what it is that you say you desire, you must be willing to look at your own life and actions to see if what you say you desire and what you do are in agreement.

In order to attract good people into your life, you must first hold those values and attributes that make them “good” in high esteem. Do your friends entertain foolishness, lie, cheat and can’t be trusted? Do those you hold in close fellowship reflect godly values? How does your life and your actions reflect the values you claim to treasure the most?

You see, you cannot attract what you do not first honor.

Do you honor God?
Do you honor those who walk in integrity and good character?
Have you found godly mentors who reflect a godly pattern of relationship?
Do you invest time and resources into those things that are “good”?
Do you place high value on wisdom?

 In order to get a good man, you have value good things.

That’s why so many women (and men) end up in relationships that are the opposite of what their mouths say they want.

They end up with what they invest the most of their time, energy and resources into. They end up with the people who reflect their own values.

So that ex you continue to put down? Yea, you picked him or her and it’s time you sat down and got real about the condition of your own heart that led you to choose such a person in the first place.  The truth is, there was something in you that loved and valued something in them. And if you’re not careful, you’ll ignore the fact that you are still holding on to destructive proclivities and appetites that led you to hold on to people and things that are not for your good.

If you do not honor God in your daily living, you will gravitate to men and women who also do not honor God. You can say with your mouth all day long that you value people with such a strong relationship with God. But once you enter into relationship with them, you’ll find them boring and eventually, your eyes will wander over to the person who reflects what your truly value.

Oh, you ain’t gotta say “Amen” today church. I KNOW I’m preachin!

This is meant to be a wake-up call to woman and men who have found themselves, time after time, in relationships that went nowhere and left them feeling used and abused. The Spirit is telling you to search your own heart and stop blaming your ex’s for your own unholy desires. Blame is blinding and can keep us locked into unhealthy patterns.

 Until you change what you honor, you will not change what you attract.

Until you honor things like peace, truth, righteousness, holiness, dependability, and maturity, you will not attract those things into your life.

If all of your ex’s have been terrible, then it’s time to ask the Lord to reveal what’s inside of your heart that He can remove and cleanse. Until this happens, you’re not ready for a good man or woman.

How does your life reflect your honor, value, and appreciation for the things that make up a good man or woman?

Use your time of singleness to remove those things from your life that do not value righteousness, integrity and character. Replace those things with godly representations.

Then, you’ll be on your way to becoming ready for a good man.