It’s late. I’m tired. It’s been one of those days. I was disappointed in the choices that Marc made today concerning our children and coming to visit them. He promised to do so everyday this week but unfortunately, he fell short of that promise less than 24 hours after it fell from his lips.
I hate to say it, but that’s typical. I would have been more surprised had he kept a promise.
That would have been news to me- a promise kept.
I know disappointment well.
I had to figure out quickly what to do with my emotions. The old Melly Mel would have machine gunned him with curse words and cut him down to size. I can be mean. I can go on the attack.
It wouldn’t have been pretty.
But the wonderful thing about being a believer and filled with the Spirit of God is that what you used to do and what you’re called to do as a result of your calling will and SHOULD differ.
I can’t curse him out.
What good would it do?
Yes, I was disappointed and hurt because our children were also disappointed and hurt.
I asked myself, “How do you show the love of God to someone even though they disappoint and hurt you?”
The answer lies within the question itself: You show the love of God to them even though they disappoint and hurt you.
The love of God doesn’t condemn. It doesn’t devalue or degrade. It doesn’t leave you feeling less but always leaves you with more than what you came with.
I remained calm.
I didn’t scream or shout.
I didn’t curse.
I spoke my mind but in doing so, I didn’t attack his character.
I didn’t call him names and belittle him.
When I’m angry, I’m angry. I don’t want to be nice. But at the same time, I’m learning that parenting takes an incredible amount of maturity and I can’t raise children and behave like one at the same time. I don’t throw adult sized temper tantrums. I’m bigger than that. I can be respectful and speak respectfully without feeling as if I’m being walked all over.
It takes some effort and some thought but it can be done and the Spirit is there to help us where we are weak.
So tonight, I’m going to pray for Marc and myself. Co-parenting is a lot like a marriage of sorts. Whether we like it or not, we’re bound to each other via our two children and we must find a way to navigate these at times choppy waters.
I thank God we got through this storm. A soft answer turned away wrath. There was no yelling in front of the children, screaming, name calling and foolishness. Just honesty and maturity.
I’m writing this because I want those who may read to understand that I have challenging days and I am completely sympathetic to such days that others may face. But my salvation is not a fad nor is it something I put on for Sunday morning and tuck away in my closet once church is over. I live this daily. How do you live godly when faced with less-than-godly scenarios?
Can it be done?
Yes. God cares about EVERYTHING we go through and He is able and willing to help us to bear our loads. If it matters to you, it matters to Him! Isn’t that wonderful to know? So when I lay my head down to sleep tonight, my prayers will be that despite our differences the Lord would continue to unify us for the sake of parenting our children. I’ll pray that peace would continue abide as well as mutual respect. I’ll pray that God would continue to show me His heart so that I can reflect it to Marc in moments that I am frustrated with him or angry. I’ll pray that in those moments of deep frustration and anger, a light would shine to lead me back to the right path
This too shall pass.