Let’s face it. We’ve all had something to be bitter about. Whether it’s being lied to, cheated on, a bad break up, divorce, or any type of wrongdoing. We’ve all been residents of a place called bitterness before.
Some of us have dealt with bitterness towards our parents and family members. Some were abused, neglected, and even victims of heinous crimes. Some people watched others destroy their lives, hopes and dreams.
Some people discovered that the people that they thought they knew were never those people at all.
As you can see, Bitterness has plenty of room and places to stay.
I was watching a Dr. Phil show this morning about two individuals who were seeking to confront their parents for wrongs that they’d done. One lady’s mother took her on the run for two years. The mother claimed it was because the father was molesting the daughter. The daughter denied this had ever happened and she wanted a chance to tell her mother the damage she’d done and to hear her remorse for taking her through that difficult period of time. The second guest was a man who witnessed his father shoot and kill his mother at the age of 12 years old. While his father maintained that it was accidental, the son recounted his father saying to his mother “I’ll kill you if you try to leave”. He was also the one his father used to lure his mother back into the house where she was shot.
Both stories were tough to hear, and I’m sure, even tougher to live through.
But I noticed something similar in both stories.
Here’s the thing that we don’t get when we’re carrying bitterness against someone for years and years on end.
The other person is oblivious to our burden.
People who hurt other people aren’t thinking about other people! Other people’s emotions, feelings, circumstances and comfort doesn’t even cross their minds. It wasn’t about the people they hurt then, so that probably won’t change in 30 years.
What’s my point?
Few will ever adequately acknowledge their transgressions against you and even if they do, there is little, if anything that they can do to right the wrong.
So guess what?
Bitterness is a CHOICE.
You can’t always choose what happens to you and who does it, but you can decide if you will continue to hold on to it and let it infect every aspect of your life.
Here’s the thing about bitter people that needs to be stressed. When you come across a bitter, mean and angry person, you really don’t care what their story or their pain is.
Yep, that’s right I said it.
No one really cares WHY someone is bitter.
The reason is because bitter people unfortunately become perpetrators themselves. People who have done you no harm or no wrong suddenly find themselves subjected to your negativity and your foul attitude. There may be a reason behind your foul nature, but when someone, who had nothing to do with it, finds themselves having to deal with it, that reason suddenly makes no difference.
Bitterness is deceptive. It is a real emotion but it is an unfair one. It doesn’t care who did what to you. It treats EVERYBODY like the one person or group of persons who did you wrong.
That’s the difference between people who are bitter and people who learn how to forgive.
Forgiveness doesn’t necessarily heal the hurt. But what it does is assign the fault and its debt to the right person.
It’s not my future husband’s fault that I didn’t grow up feeling loved.
My best friend didn’t neglect me.
Bitterness gives everyone a bill they didn’t create and demands a payment they can never pay.
Bitterness is a irrational response to pain and injustice.
Being hurt is a result of circumstances beyond your control.
But bitterness is a choice.
Choose today to pack your bags and leave the place called bitterness.
Everyone who loves you will be so glad you did.