Well, my children’s father finally decided to call me around 6:00 p.m. I wished him a happy Father’s Day. He sounded down in the dumps. I asked him why he hadn’t responded all day and he made up a lame excuse about his cellphone being on its charger all day.
So once I saw he was in liar mode, I quickly handed the phone over to our children. After they talked with him, I hung up.
But I called him back after about ten minutes.
I just couldn’t take it.
I had to know.
“What did I do?”, I asked. I wanted him to tell me what was it that I did that gave him the excuse to not come and see his children on Father’s Day. Was it something I said or didn’t say? I was stumped. We talked the night before and he told me he’d be over today to spend time with them. We were up and ready by lunch time. We all were dressed, waiting, watching for him.
Six o’clock in the evening, he calls to say, “I didn’t have enough gas to make it over there”.
I quickly corrected him and told him that if that had been the real problem, all he had to do was make it known. I would have been more than happy to bring the children over to his house to spend time with him. But deep down, I knew that wasn’t the issue. He wasn’t that concerned about spending time with them.
So rather than trying to understand his pathology or even attempt to run down behind his excuses and refute them a minute longer, I said good bye.
I said good bye to the whole enterprise of celebrating Father’s Day from now on.
It’s going to take a real man who has a genuine heart of a father before I bring out the paper hats and noise makers again.
I’m done.
I really mean that.
When hurt and disappointment are optional, I don’t select it.
I don’t have to set myself and my children up for waiting all day to find out he’s not coming.
Nope. I don’t have to.
And I won’t.
Next Father’s Day is going to look a lot different than this one.
I’m not even going to mention it to the children. I’m sure they’ll hear of it at school and preschool but as for me? Nope.
Instead, they’ll be hearing about how mommy is planning an awesome family trip to the beach where they can build sand castles and I can collect seashells and sip a frozen drink…or two.
This right here is over.
No more Father’s Day until a real one shows up.