Ok, so it’s been a few minutes since I last posted on this here blog. I must admit I’ve been experiencing a bit of “writer’s block”.
Well, on second thought, let me be honest.
Melissa is RARELY at a loss for words or thought but sometimes, I’m just not so willing or even sure I want to share those words and thoughts. I understand the importance of speaking your truth but sometimes… a girl just aint too sure, ya know?
I try my best to keep it real and to be as uplifting and authentic as possible.
But I have “blah” days just like everyone else.
I wake up with my hair pushed up to one side at a sharp point.
I put very little effort into assembling an outfit.
Scrunchies sometimes substitute for bracelets.
The older I get, the tougher the ol’ hormones are to deal with. I hit my thirties and soon came to the realization that the thirty something version of myself is a more mature model, true, but she’s got plenty of tender spots, literally and figuratively.
Let’s start with this bursitis that I used handy dandy WebMD.com to self diagnose. Yep, I do that too. LOL! Unexplained pain in my hips and shoulders that creeps up just before a storm system, wracks me with pain, makes my eyes water and sends me limping to my stash of ibuprofen only to vanish as quickly as it came.
And let’s not forget about this light dusting of gray hair that seems to be occurring underneath my glorious jet black weave. SERIOUSLY?! I’m 33. Is it REALLY time to consult a colorist? Gray too soon, gray too soon. And to add insult to injury, my lifelong black curly hair will be replaced with straight, wiry grays. Haha! Gotta love the human body.
Some days I just don’t feel spiritual…like today. lol! I am completely in love with God and His Word. Without His Word, I would not be where I am now nor would I even have the slightest interest in facing tomorrow apart from Him. But combined with unpredictable hormones, emotions, and those mysterious “blahs” that women tackle, I just don’t feel connected. I know that I am ever before Him but sometimes I just don’t feel so connected. It’s in those moments that I tend to get a little quiet, a little withdrawn.
The last thing I want to do is speak as an oracle of me. What does that mean? I feel that in this day and time, people are somewhere close to DESPERATE to hear from God. What is His mind? How does He feel about the events in this world we live in? Is He displeased? Does He want us to move and act differently than we are? Knowing His will, discerning His voice in the midst of the crowd, and finding a resting place in the midst of busy work and chaos can be a challenge. Some days I feel like He’s a mighty river flowing through me. Other days (like today) I feel like I’m under a slow leaky drain, waiting for the next drop of water to splash upon my parched soul.
Truth is, there will be days like this. Many, and not a few. There will be days that seem as if they are mundane, insignificant and I’d dare say, irrelevant. However, my faith tells me that God is always working. Always. Each day builds upon another. And another. They are all significant in the fabric of my life.
I’ll make it through the “blahs”. I’ll get through the less than sensational days.
I’ll make it through the days I get on my own nerves and put MYSELF in time out.
I’ll get through them all victoriously because He’s with me.