Stupidity can last up to 20 years. How do I know this? It’s because for the most part, I made a shipwreck of my roaring 20’s. Twenty somethings know just enough to be dangerous. They have buying power, independence, peak sexual performance and a paycheck. Look our world! Here comes trouble wide open on two tires!
I by no means intend to offend or infuriate my twenty something readers. This is humorous and slightly sarcastic reflection on a place I once was and I can relate. But I owe it to you to tell you that you’re stupid.
I think about three thirty and over women just nodded their heads in agreement. LOL!
And that’s what should happen when you enter the decade of thirty. Your eyes should come open like curtains in the morning. Aha moments should pop up left and right. By now you’ve weathered unbelievably risky gambles against your health, safety and finances. You are either in the middle of a financial storm or sitting in the pile of rubble it left in its wake. You’ve got a few exes under your belt and the scars to prove it. Maybe that Vegas wedding on a whim in cowboy boots and ripped jeans is now an alimony payment in your checking account. You’re quite possibly a parent by now, all but forced to surpress your inner child and manage the very real, and very demanding outter children who now depend on you for everything. You’re probably a few years into a career you’re not that fond of and steadily approaching what I’d like to call the “mini midlife crisis”.
Oh yea folks…
Thirty somethings know all about this.
This is when your straight laced husband decides it’s time for him to unleash his inner, irresponsible freak and shed the shackles of lifelong committment. It’s also when you stare at your boobs in the mirror and seriously consider using next year’s tax refund for a bust lift. Maybe you’ve caught the glimmer of a few gray hairs in the bathroom mirror and have decided it’s time to discuss semi permanent or permanent hair coloring with your stylist. Even more serious, maybe you’ve buried both sets of grandparents and realize it won’t be long until you are in your own parents’ shoes.
You’re thinking about life insurance for the first time in your life.
Should I get a living will?
Who will care for my children if something should happen to me?
Do I want a DNR order?
Do I want to spend another 10 years of my life in this city? In this career? In this relationship?
Oh yea… it’s a mini midlife crisis alright!
But seriously, you should have learned something by now!
The only thing more disappointing than a disasterous twentieth decade is a ten year repeat performance.
Whether you realize it or not, you’ve learned a ton of things by now. You may not see it because you’re effectively submerged in the routine of life that you hardly notice all of the wisdom you’ve acquired since high school. However, if you took the time to slow down a bit, you’d see, like me, that by thirty something, you can and SHOULD have learned a lot by now.
One of the biggest life lessons I’ve learned as a thirty something year old woman is that we set ourselves up for much of the dramatic high’s and lows of life by our own actions. How so? Here’s an example. You receive an invitation by facebook or email regarding your highschool class reunion. First of all, you were not popular in high school nor were you happy there. You were the awkward misfit with no friends and chubby cheeks but as soon as the invitation hits your inbox, you’re out shopping at Lane Bryant trying to find something slimming and age defying.
Then it’s off to Zumba class and Weight Watchers to lose 60 lbs in three months. Before you know it, you’re driving or flying across country to stand in a room full of people who don’t even recognize you and if they do, still can’t pronounce your name correctly and once again, you’re the one nursing a glass of wine at the bar, feeling oddly insecure and unhappy, much like you did 15 years earlier. Here’s the best way to handle potentially difficult situations like class reunions, parties, and receptions:
It’s really that simple. Why on EARTH are you spending hundreds of dollars for hair, makeup, Zumba, outfit and airfare to go and be made to feel like an 18 year old oddball?! Seriously?!
Thirty somethings should have learned by now the value of peace of mind and the absence of drama.
The best thing about making it out of our teens and twenties is that we don’t have to EVER repeat it!
So the next time you get an invitation from someone you don’t like and that you’re almost positive NEVER liked you, simply don’t go. *DELETE*
Another realization that thirty somethings with good sense tend to make is that although they’ve essentially let 10 good years get flushed down the toilet in superficial enterprises, there’s still enough time to turn the Titanic around and avoid the next iceberg. Change is possible at any age, but when you’re in your teens and twenties, change is like being in a jetski. By the time you hit your mid thirties and 40’s, change feels more like a yatch. The mind, body and soul just doesn’t get up and zig zag between the changes of life like it used to. Another gut punch is that although we still could quite possibly have more years ahead of us than behind us (it’s reasonable to think I’ll live til 66, Lord willing), the truth is that the sands of the hourglass now appear to be sliding a little bit faster than just ten short years ago. Grandparents, aunts, and uncles who were embroidered into the fabric of our lives are now deceased. God forbid we lose a parent or comrad. The gut punch is even harder. We realize that turning fifty isn’t in the far distant future like it used to be. We also realize that by the time we turn 50, our parents who are 25-30 years our senior, may not be there with us.
These realizations scream that we should have learned something by now.
What do I have to show for three decades worth of breathing in and out?
Is this as good as it gets for me?
Can the Titanic be rerouted?
When I was twenty, the thought of starting over completely from zero was not nearly as imposing as it is now.
I have children now. I have a pitiful yet confirmed credit score. I own property. I’m not sick or dying, but I don’t have the same amount of energy as I used to. I require naps now.
Can I start from zero and make it to 100?
Thirty somethings know that although it may seem daunting, it can be done.
Those in their forties, fifties, and sixties tell us that we’re still youngins. They know what we’re capable of. They know we have the juice to get it done if we take the step.
I used to think that my twenties were a critical decade. Lord knows I made my fair share of mistakes there and made my bed pretty gosh darn hard. Over time, I’ve realized that actually my critical hour is NOW. As chocked full of nonsense as my twenties were, I came out of them in one piece and with many, MANY nuggets of truth and hard knock wisdom.
I’m smart enough to realize that most twenty somethings won’t listen to me nor see the benefit of my wisdom. *watching my thirty and over’s nodding and chiming, “Mmm hmm”. lol!* We all know the hardest heads are the twenty somethings. We were hardheads once. We were stubborn, fierce, full of fire and vinegar and armed with just enough knowledge to be a force.
We were all there.
And we all got our butts kicked real good by life and its curveballs.
Please don’t dispair twenty somethings. Things do get better. As difficult as it is to look at the longterm, do everything you can to minimize the impact of your decisions on decades that you can’t even see. Buy a house when you’re ready, not just because all of your friends are homeowners. Get married because you’re in love and you’ve done your homework, not just because you’re trying to have a baby before you hit 30. The decisions you make should come from what is true to YOU, not what is pressing against you.
Follow your heart, not your girlfriends. Your heart may contradict the “in” crowd, but guess what? You graduated from high school already and you can now enjoy the clique called YOU.
Don’t look up and realize you spent the past 10 years trying to find someone who was always there.
You’re learning everyday and by thirty…
You’ll be amazed by what you know.