I knew there was a reason I didn’t care for the math and sciences in school! There is a part of brain that resists absolutes. Math and science frown upon things that change too much. In algebra, it’s called a variable. That gets a symbol.
The constant of an equation, now that gets a numerical value!
At this point in my life and after talking with a few women who can relate to the up’s and down’s of love, one thing we can all agree on while trying to put our heads together and solve our relationship problems is this:
Men are the constants and we are the variables.
Good luck getting a man to go to church who isn’t already predisposed to doing so. Good luck getting him to agree and GO to counseling. Good luck getting him to understand and apply the knowledge of how to be more “understanding, considerate and affectionate”.
GOOD LUCK! lol!
So that leaves the variable in the equation, us women folk, left trying to adapt, alter and often change our value to “make it work”. We already know we’ll never solve the problem if we never come up with a value to assign to the variable, even if it’s just a symbol.
So many women are TIRED of having to be the one to change for the greater good of the relationship.
“How To Love His Family and Deal with His Moma’s Boy Ways”
“How To Spice Up The Romance; Four Inch Heels Required”
“How To Stop Nagging”
“How To Be a Better Competitor in the Race For Your Man’s Heart & Attention”
“How To Blend Into The Background So As Not To Disturb Your Man”
“How To Get The Ring He Should Have Given You Two Years Ago”
“How To Keep Yourself Up So As Not To Appear Like A Human Being With Flaws To Your Man”
This may be a bit of an exaggeration and it is purposefully so. But when we read the self help books geared toward relationship advise, they might as well scream these things to us.
Back in the day, I thought love was all about chemistry.
How does he make me feel? Does he bring passion, desire and heat to the mix? Oh yea! That’s a keeper. lol! But the older I got, the more I realized that physical chemistry was just a small fraction of the equation called love.
I’m going to be very honest here and admit that I haven’t always felt that the bible was on a woman’s side. Let’s face it: harlots, widows, and adulteresses come to mind immediately when we think of biblical women. Bathsheba. Delilah. Rahab. Hagar.
That’s quite an impressive line up! lol! More specifically, the whole story of creation was hard for me to reconcile. I didn’t understand how God could declare first “it’s not God that man should be alone. I will make him an help meet suitable for him” in one verse, and in the next, present Adam with a line up of animals.
But the answer is in that same verse:
“And out of the ground the Lord God formed every [wild] beast and living creature of the field and every bird of the air and brought them to Adam to see what he would call them; and whatever Adam called every living creature, that was its name”.
God was testing Adam. Any of the creatures that God created could have been chosen by Adam as a companion. However, Adam called, or as I like to say, “assigned” each living creature its name after his close examination and observation of it. Once God saw that Adam had wisely assigned living creatures for each other but for himself he did not choose a living creature, God trusted him with a new creation: Eve. Let me just throw this in for FREE: Whenever you refuse something that does not fit your life, you then give God permission to create a NEW THING for you!
Adam had to understand and know HIMSELF before he could recognize his own help! Women will never be treated well by a man who has not discovered what exactly it is that he needs and what’s missing from his life. Had Adam misnamed a single creature, I do not believe God would have released Eve to him. Proverbs declares, “Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing and obtaineth favor from the Lord.” That word “findeth” in the Hebrew means “to acquire, to find out” and “to detect”. Not every man can detect who his wife is. He may choose the pretty face or the alluring speech. But the BIBLE says a man who detects a WIFE detects a good thing. There is FAVOUR connected to the position of wife. Girlfriend is NOT a position of favour. Mistress is not a position of favour. I am not a girlfriend. I am not a mistress. Women who allow their men to continue in relationships with them apart from giving them the honor of WIFE are being disrespected. No wife has to argue in the streets with a mistress. No wife has to beg a judge to legitimize her relationship with a man. The position has honor on earth and FAVOUR from heaven.
So God is very much concerned about women. It wasn’t until Adam demonstrated a keen sense of discernment and understanding of his own strengths, weaknesses and needs that God custom made a helper for Him based on what Adam spoke about everything else God made. Women weren’t made by mistake and unlike any other creature that God made, women were specifically designed by God for men; not for anything else. That’s why when a man correctly discerns the gift that rests in a woman, he unlocks favour from God and blessing into his own life.